CONNECTING THE DOTS: HOW SHARING MY STORY HEALED ME AND PROPELLED ME FORWARD
At some point you have to tell a different story. Not the way things are or how things were. This is especially true if these are stories of you as the victim – done wrong in a relationship, hurt because of a closed door that you wanted so badly to walk through, fired/laid off from an organization that you held together like glue, grew up on a particular side of the railroad tracks and so on.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand your emotions around these past stories have some validity and these moments may have appeared to derail your “happily ever after,” but let me tell you what I know for sure, these experiences were all part of YOUR precise path to get you closer to where YOU need to be. I had to learn the hard way and damn, I feel like it’s been one long ass lesson, but it was all on me. Plus everything blossoms when it’s supposed to. Don’t rush what you’re not ready for. Don’t compare where you are to others or where you thought you would be by now. These are just a few of the thieves that will rob you blind of your joy and progress.
Who you are, where you are, and what you know NOW is what matters most. It is IN THE NOW that we have the ability to create what will be. Our brains don’t know the difference between what is real and what’s imagined so it will have us respond and create an existence that aligns to whatever we think. Our brain will look for clues all around us to reinforce whatever we have adopted as truth. So why not imagine…dream big?! And each day, baby step our asses into more of the person we’re required to be to handle that BIG ass vision…??!! And yes, baby steps are still steps, so they matter too!!
Last year I began attending a writing group every Sunday from 2pm-4pm and I joined to get back into my lost passion that helped me through my childhood. Writing was how I could release what I was feeling. Writing gave me permission to express my Walt Disney like plans for my future. But always, my writing was just for me. It was my secret hobby. Fast-forward to 2017, I shared a few stories with my writing group and they insisted I tell them…put them in a book… something. I was too embarrassed by some of the content, it was too personal.
After a very candid conversation with a client this year, I realized we both had a breakthrough. And while they didn’t know I too was deeply impacted by that conversation, what hit me was that my experience, my story was what allowed me to connect with them in such depth and provide a different lens for them to see their life. Truth is, they did the exact same thing for me.
It was then that I realized what was supporting my connection to those that I work with…it was my story, both what I overcame and in some instances what I am still working on. Knowing and feeling comfortable with my story allows me to show up to my conversations with compassion and ask questions that allow others to arrive at their own answers. I challenge and empower others to think for themselves in a way that may contradict old paradigms, and in other instances reinforce what they’ve been thinking just simply hadn’t had the courage to act on.
But this particular conversation helped me see, that all of us, through our varied life experiences are a library of information and it is imperative not only for our own healing and growth to share our stories, but our stories reaffirm, heal, and empower those who cross paths with them too.
I’ll be sharing more of my stories with themes that I realize touch us all, directly or indirectly, at some stage in our lives.
As I see it now, all of this was a step towards a larger vision I’ve had for quite some time. In my work as The RelationSHIFT Coach, I am on a mission to help busy young people slow down, make time to redefine what happiness and success looks like according to their standards and provide tools to support them in achieving THIER version of happily ever after. I am not here to spread false hope that one will avoid detours in life. No! I am here to ensure that WHEN someone does find themselves in what might be described as “a setback” – because it is inevitable – they’re prepared to manage how they feel and see things because it is our perspective that creates our reality.
And my reality?! My new story?! I have turned my mess into my message and my mission. I am an author, a coach, a creative director. Tonight I will be in Downton Phoenix sharing from my new book one of my stories entitled, Color Blind Girl.
If you’re in Arizona, this event is in Downtown Phoenix, but don’t worry, it will also broadcast on Facebook & Instagram LIVE today, Wednesday December 19th at 7pm MST/9PM EST. So wherever you are, we will be there!
I’d love to see and hear from you!! Please note, this isn’t just about my story, this is really about all of us. We all are faced with seeing the world a particular way and at some point learn that the world sees us in a certain way because of our skin, gender, age etc.
As you may or may not know, the Color Blind Girl story and the convo tonight will focus on race and primarily aim to help us understand how this topic is internalized from a child’s perspective, the consequences of having this conversation too early or late, healthy ways to discuss this with children and other adults, and also how as adults we can learn to unpack the race trauma and biases we may be living with and don’t even know.
Considering the state of our country – our world for that matter – this is something I believe is just a small step to have more healing, peace, understanding, and love for ourselves and one another.
Please share this post with your networks if you would! I appreciate the support! 😘✌🏾💕
P.S. what new story will you begin to tell?! See and speak beyond what is…yes, absolutely appreciate the now. But imagine…dream BIG. What do you envision becoming? Share below for encouragement and accountability. Then go make those baby steps to get ‘er done!