Meet Ms.Marisha

If anyone can truthfully share about the burdens of burnout, what life feels like to be miserably unfulfilled, stuck with no ideas or energy to move forward and shamefully possess a belief that they don’t even have what it takes to pursue life’s next best steps even if the “yellow brick road” was right in front of them – it would certainly be me! THIS WAS ME. All by the age of 25! Yep, my “mid-20s life crisis.”

Meet Ms.Marisha

If anyone can truthfully share about the burdens of burnout, what life feels like to be miserably unfulfilled, stuck with no ideas or energy to move forward and shamefully possess a belief that they don’t even have what it takes to pursue life’s next best steps even if the “yellow brick road” was right in front of them – it would certainly be me! THIS WAS ME. All by the age of 25! Yep, my “mid-20s life crisis.”

And What I Found To Be Ridiculous About It All Was That I Did Everything “Right.” I Checked Off All The Boxes.

I excelled in school. I played sports, even at the collegiate level – UC Davis, go Ags! Internships turned new job opportunities where I advanced my roles, responsibilities, skills, experience, and networks  – check! Recruited to join the Teach For America organization, moved from California to Atlanta with no family or friends to teach elementary school kiddos – check! Bought my condo – check! Entered my Master’s program in Educational Leadership – check! Life – check. Was – check. AMAZING – check!

It was all good until it wasn’t. The “checks” stopped – literally and figuratively.

I hit rock bottom with the rest of the world when the economy crashed. My story in summary…

I was layed off due to budget cuts – check! With diligence and resentment, I prepared and sent out what seemed like hundreds of resumes to ANY job that remotely resembled my previous experience with very few responses for an interview – check! My home was put up for foreclosure even though months prior, the banks assured me they’d help me figure out how to get back on track to save it – check! Shamefully, I waited in the unemployment line each week to barely stay afloat, financially – check! Staying afloat mentally and physically soon became a challenge too. Depression slowly crept in – check! Forgetfulness made me repeat things, lose things, and sometimes made my conversations incoherent. Lack of an appetite due to stress – check! Health issues that had me in and out of doctor’s offices – check! Avoidant or emotionally unavailable in relationships – check! Life Was A MESS – check!

I was on a rapid downward spiral that only grew more and more out of control the more I feared, forced and frustrated I became with my life. It was a silent struggle. I was too embarrassed to admit what my existence was becoming. Me… ask for help?! I didn’t know how. I was the friend – and sometimes the stranger – that was approached for guidance when others were stranded in their moments of disappointment, despair or derailment. It didn’t help that as the first born, I was naturally inclined to attempt figuring things out on my own.

Slowly and sometimes begrudgingly, I did begin to “figure it out.”

My only solace, in the beginning, was writing. I asked myself life’s big, hard questions. How can I discover and live my purpose? Is there a way for me to fulfill my potential without killing myself each day? Should relationships with friends, romantic partners, even family last a lifetime? Can I be inspired by work AND make a living that allows me to live life the way I envision? In writing, I was able to express, without judgment, my true emotions and encouragingly reveal my deepest desires. From this new inquisitive and hopeful energy space, I was led to the Georgia Center for Meditation where I studied mindfulness every Wednesday for an hour. At first, I didn’t quite know how to take that calm with me consistently into my other, daily environments especially considering my life hadn’t drastically changed, but the more I wrote and followed my meditation practice, the more I felt better.

Feeling better was the first step to changing the trajectory of my circumstances.

Feeling better allowed me to simply accept my life just as it was at that time. Accepting my life just as it was, liberated me from the attachment to erroneous ideas such as I NEEDED to be in a different stage because of my age, what I had or had not yet accomplished, what others expected of me or what I thought my life was going to be by this point. Liberation from those false premises gave me permission to choose what I wanted in work, life, and love – no matter how unconventional a life or the desires may have been. With baby steps, I moved forward with MY choices and my self confidence was gradually being restored.

I noticed that trusting myself and my abilities made me a magnet to people, experiences, opportunities, events and resources that continued to propel me towards my own version of happily ever after – although truthfully, I didn’t always see it that way. I was eventually hired to do amazing work in a variety of leadership roles within education. Fell in love. Started an event and video production consulting firm to increase visibility of small to medium sized businesses. Recognized by the California State Legislature and Senate as a young, woman of color for my company’s work in the local business community. And while I was not at all were I wanted to be, I thought I was finally being catapulted from A to Z. Nope. I took several more detours and even now, I still do!

But here’s The Secret We Aren’t Told:

Life is NOT about avoiding “the detours.” It’s about understanding that those “detours” are simply the paths necessary for each of us to experience the teachable moments that are precisely designed for our growth as individuals. MY “scenic route” may come at a different stage in life from someone else’s and what I encounter along the way is specific to answering MY life’s big, hard questions. I firmly believe we are doing ourselves a disservice by trying to avoid the inevitable detours in life, but I am certainly an advocate for ensuring that we’re properly informed and equipped with the tools needed to manage what happens when we do “veer off track!”

This conviction as well as my own personal experiences have navigated me to my new career path. These days, in my role as a RelationSHIFT™ Coach, I awaken with a zest for life as I get to share my professional experiences, natural gifts and breakthrough testimony with others.

My work these days allows me to guide busy young professionals to confidently pursue their version of happily ever after by teaching them methods to avoid burnout, boost clarity on life’s next best steps, and maximize their current resources.

I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve been through enough and always seek to expand my village to provide a variety of useful ideas, tools, experiences and resources that are sure to console, nourish, stimulate, and empower.

If you’re seeking a RelationSHIFT™, please do stick around. The journey – unexpected detours and all – will be worth it! I look forward to being a part of your new chapter…I’m excited to see you confidently pursue your version of happily ever after!

Crumbling Walls

33 Moments That Derailed My Happily Ever After